Isn't it Beautiful?
by Eaglehaze
Summary: Briarlight is sick of everything. Sick of it all. Everyday she needs to watch her Clanmates go about a life that should have been her's, one that she once lived. She just wants to get away, to escape, even for a little while. But where'll she go?


Briarlight dragged herself out of the medicine den, eyes dull, and glanced around camp. Every day she would see warriors and apprentices leave and return to camp, laughing and having fun, boasting about the prey that they caught to their friends, or the cats they beat up in a battle or a border skirmish. They would exchange news, both happy, such as an expecting queen or new kits; worried, like rogue or badger scent on their borders, and sometimes frustrated or furious, like a trespassing cat or an enemy Clan shouting insults.

 _That used to be me._ She thought bitterly. _I would be the one boasting about how much prey I caught, laughing and enjoying myself with my friends. Now I'm just a nuisance. I'm just an extra mouth to feed. Sure I_ used _to serve the Clan. I_ used _to be helpful. It's been seasons now and I've long outlived that. There's no point of me being here. Everyone would just be relieved if I left._

She snapped her gaze up as Millie trotted over to her, a plump mouse in her jaws. _Maybe except for Millie, of course._ Briarlight smiled slightly at the thought, a purr rising in her throat as she brushed cheeks with the grey she cat, settling down to share the mouse and letting her fuss as usual.

As the sun reached its peak, Briarlight turned back into the medicine den as Millie was called out on a patrol and saw Jayfeather rushing in and out of the herb store. "We're out of tansy and Leaf Bare's almost here. Sort these while I go fetch some." He snapped before brushing past her out of the den.

Briarlight glanced at the herbs and settled down beside them, sorting the stale herbs from the fresh. _I guess this is something._ She pricked her ears as Leafpool's voice rang in from outside the den. _But he doesn't need me either. He's got Leafpool back for this sort of thing._ She groaned and rolled onto her back, longing to feel earth under her paws, see the beautiful reflection of the moon on the lake once more, something she hadn't set eyes on for seasons.

 _So why don't I?_

The thought made her paws tingle, a rush running through her body. She rolled back onto her front. _I could see the lake again. I could feel a fresh breeze run from it and through my fur. I could feel the sand run through my claws and drink from the clear, moonlit water like I used to. I'm sick of my water tasting like moss and stone._

Then nerves started to kick in. _But I'm too loud, and there'll be a guard. I'll never get out with no one noticing._ She knew that no one would let her go out on her own. With someone else, maybe, but she wanted to be alone. She _needed_ to be alone. Since her injuries she'd not had a moment's peace. _I'll do it._ She vowed, eyes hardening. _I'll do it and no one can stop me._

As the sun began to set and cats returned to their dens, Briarlight bade goodnight to Jayfeather and Leafpool and pretended to sleep. She waited until she could hear two sets of steady breathing before dragging herself out of her nest, doing her best to keep as silent as possible by raising herself on her front paws, managing to keep most of the moss in the nest.

She headed slowly to where she knew there was a tunnel at the back of the medicine den. She'd thought it through all day, and decided this was the best way to sneak out. She couldn't climb the boulders, but maybe she could haul herself up one of the smaller ones and then exit through the side without going all the way up, and then find her way up the steep bank.

Granted, it was a horrible idea, but it was the best she could come up with. She wasn't cutting through the bramble barrier without losing an eye as well as alerting the whole Clan, she wasn't going to get through the dirtplace tunnel without anyone noticing and she wasn't just going to waltz through the main entrance without the cat on duty ( _Thornclaw, I think)_ either sending her back to the medicine den or insisting she had someone come with her.

Briarlight gradually made her way to the tunnel, pausing with every movement to listen out for Jayfeather or Leafpool. She finally made it through without any disturbances and looked up at the steep, steep slope, looking for any possible way for her to get up.

 _All of the boulders here are really tall,_ she observed, looking to the large rocks at the base of the slope. _But there's that one to the side. Quite large, but it's at waist height. Maybe I could get myself onto it._ She dragged herself over and lifted one of her forepaws, latching onto a crevice over the rather smooth surface before gritting her teeth and lifting her second paw from the ground, keeping herself from gasping as all of her weight was now shifted onto her paw that was holding onto the rock.

As quickly as possible, she clung on with both forepaws and hauled herself on, dragging the rest of her body until she was secure. _I really didn't think this through._ Getting onto the larger boulder was a bit easier, now shallower than the one she was currently on. She dragged herself onto the smooth rock and pulled herself over the the edge, feeling sparse grass beneath her paws mixed with pebbles. She dragged herself up, taking her time to slip over boulders and rocks.

When she finally made it to the top, StarClan knows how that happened, she rolled onto her back, breathing heavily. She then licked the grit from her paws and looked into the moonlit forest, the trees turned silver by the lunar light. She recognised where she was from her apprentice-hood, remembering when she and Blossomfall had play-fought around here before getting told off by their mentors. She smiled at the memory as she set off, following the scent of the lake.

As she dragged herself along, stopping rather frequently to catch her breath, she took in every sight, the silver branches on the trees, a few orange and yellow leaves still clinging the the bare branches. The hoot of an owl further along in the forest and the rustling in the undergrowth that showed signs of night life going about the leaf litter.

Briarlight hauled herself along the path, the fallen leaves actually helping, protecting her from trailing brambles or hidden gorse. Her breath suddenly caught in her throat as she crested a slope, the lake gleaming below.

She stopped in her tracks. _It-it's more beautiful than I remembered._

Below, the lake held the entire sky in its waters, the stars scattered around an almost-full moon. From here, she could see the edges of WindClan and ShadowClan territory as well as RiverClan, directly opposite from where she stood.

She let herself slide down the slope, making sure there weren't any jutting rocks or bushes. She hauled herself over onto the beach, her paws slipping into the sand. Her breath caught in her throat as she let out a wistful sigh, unsheathing and sheathing her claws and allowing the sand to run smoothly between them. She headed over the the water, waves lapping at the shore, and brought her muzzle down to lap at the starry liquid. She sighed once she was done, laying on her side to simply stare at the beautiful sight.

After a while, she pricked her ears as she heard something behind her, followed by a gasp and hurried pawsteps. She flung her head around to see Millie rushing towards her and the next thing she knew her ears were being covered with licks.

"Briarlight! What are you _doing_ out here? How did you get out of camp? Are you alright? You're not hurt are you? I am _very_ mad at you!" Her mother ranted, her voice ranging from relieved to concerned to irritated.

Briarlight simply stared over the lake, her eyes reflecting the sight. "Isn't it beautiful?"

* * *

 _CloudClan Challenge- ThunderClan Rising_


End file.
